Shut Up N' Listen!
by Kathy D. Halen
Summary: Shut Up N' Listen! is kind of one americas most seen talk shows. Host Katy Pisqueak,will delight us each day with an special guest-It could be a famous superstar,a death author,a movie/book character,etc-Please,join Mss.Pipsqueak and be part of her show!


********Hello**** everybody!! ****Well, first of all I'll like to tell you that this is the first fanfiction that I've done in my life, so please, have piety of me… Second, well, the draft of this fanfiction is made in Spanish (since it's my native language… ) so you might find some mistakes in my translation to English (grammar, spelling, etc) but I promise you that I'll keep trying hard to improve on it (if you know Spanish, and you wanna read it in it's original form, search by the title of "callate y escucha!" ) …. Third… well… ahmmm… there was a third thing, but I've forgotten what was…**

****Well (haha, I love sayin' "well" ) I didn't know how to explain very good the fic's summary (few lines to communicate too much ideas…).. So I'll try to do it here. The story takes place in a the famous and newest talk show of the moment, which's name is "Shut Up and Listen!" (I don't really like this name for the show, but if you have any other ideas, please, send them to me!!) and like in almost every talk show, there's an eccentric and crazy host. In this case, our host's name is Katy Pipsqueak (Her last name is a courtesy from the crayola products) who each day will delight us with special guests. It could be any famous character of a book, a death author, a superstar, etc… **

****Please, at the end of each chapter ( If you did liked this fic ) , tell me who do you want to be the next guest in the next show (could be a celebrity and yourself! )… but I think that it would be from de second chapter. Because this one's kind of long. I had to cut it. So the continuation of this chapter will be the second one (I think you understood me…) a**

**Ahhh****!! ****Another****thing****! ****Does anyone know if I can include Lestat du Lioncourt in any interview?? (You know… the one from Anne Rice's series) **

**Anyway… If you like it, please, leave some reviews!**

**Well, now, let me introduce you our first guest of the day: **

**Edward Cullen…**

_-On air at 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…! _

_-Live, from the studios of America's most seen TV show, we welcome you to the most spectacular talk show of the moment: Shut Up and Listen!. With__our__dear__host__Katy__ Pipsqueak. __And__here__she__is__, Miss. __Katy__ Pipsqueak!_

**A ****26 year old woman enters in the stage. She's white skin, tall, kind of thin, black long hair and dark eyes, with extravagant gown.**

**She sits down in one of two chairs which are one the stage, while with a big smile she greets her audience shaking both of her hands.**

**-**Ohh! Please, stop it! - **she giggles**- you are a charming public! –**Giggles again**- really, stop it right now!- **She says in view of that nobody is kept silent- **Fine!, I hope that you and your family are well.

¿'Cause you know what? In many cases we don't know anything about our family, and we must know! 'Cause it could happen to you that you're walking by the street and then you meet this old friend who makes you the typical question of "Hey! How's your family doing?" and you'll answer "fine, thank you" without you really knowing.

And if you're like me, you'll stay all night long thinking about that, up to the point in which it overwhelms you and you cannot sleep, So you'll wake up at 3 am, you take your phone, call your mother, she'll answer and you'll say "Hey mom! What's up?"

And she'll say "well, I guess that after my only daughter, the one who besides my other 20 children that had forget me, that one who says that really cares about me; that one for whom I took out the bread of my mouth to feed her; that one for which I suffered in order that, she could live as any other girl; that girl who I changed her diaper; calls me right now… I guess that fine… besides…"

And there's when you hang out the phone, 'cause you're afraid that she tells you that your dad did just changed his luxury Mercedes Benz by a chicken of three eyes; that your grandpa forgotten where did he left his tablets for the memory; that your uncle is being watched by the FBI for having doubtful relations with Geroge W. Bush…

Is when you go back to bed and say "Yeah, she's fine…" and you sleep placidly during the whole night …

So, if you're asking your self why don't you sleep good; if you've got to go to a neurologist; or why do you wake up so tired for work… here I have the solution for you!!: you must call your family, and you'll see that you'll sleep like a baby!

Otherwise, you'll have to go to annoying family reunions, in which you'll find out all kind of gossips and other things you didn't know.

Believe me; it just happened to me last Tuesday.

I found out that the uncle Ted had died because of a poisoning with a fish that aunt Shelby gave him. Poor Aunt Shelby! She did really loved him – **Says with****sarcasm**-

I found out that my cousin, Carlos, did just separate from his newest wife (now they are already 5, am I right Carlos?)

And finally, I found out that that my small niece Susie SueBic, is going to marry a some boy called Edward Cullen!

Yeah, I know… he's a baby thief!

So, I invited him to the show, so we could know his opinion about it.

And so, here he is ladies and gentlemen… the Cullen Boy!

**In the middle of girls' shouts at the edge of the hysteria****, Edward Cullen enters in the stage, greeting to the audience with his habitual elegance and with unconcerned air. He takes seat in another vacant chair. Finely, he crosses his right leg and his left arm rests in the back of the chair.**

-How elegant you are today- **Says Katy with a certain distrustful tone as she notice that her guest has an elegant and thin gown.**

-Tank you, Katy. You'll see...

- Miss Pipsqueak for you, young men!

-Well… fine…Miss…

-Aha! Leave your games for another occasion, Cullen! The fact that you stole little Susie's heart, won't change anything among us. Did ya understand, Cullen boy?

- ¿Sorry? … But if I don't know any Susie! And my name is Edward Anthony Massen Cullen. Better known as Edward Cullen.

-Ahh… so you think you're clever, don't you Cullen boy? But believe me… that won't happen. 'Cause I know who, or rather, what you really are –** Katy said aiming at him with the forefinger and looking at him disdainfully.**

-Ohh, really?- **Edward said swallowing and returning a challenging look to her**

-Yeah… you are a… shared times seller!

-Ehh??

-Fine!... well, well… a real estate seller?

-Ahmm… yeah… I think so… unless it involves never sleeping, having an abnormal shinny skin, and drinking blood. Because, if it does… definitely I'm not!

-Aha! So now you want to coax little Susie, so she buys what you sell, don't you? I bet that's your malevolent plan!

-Hey! I'll do anything except to coax little girls…

-Sureeee, That's what everybody says…

-Bahh! Are you gonna keep mistreating me, or are you gonna ask me something?

-Mistreating you, Cullen boy? But if you had been the one who has been mistreating me! That's it! You are not my B.F.F!

-¿What in the world does B.F.F means? –**He said rolling his eyes**

**-**Best Friends Forever…. Don't you remember it? Ha! I should had knew it. You all are equal! I'll never speak to you in my life, Toribius Madisson!

-It's Anthony Massen! It has nothing to deal with Toribius… what ever you said, Second of all, if you won't ask me anything, may I leave this place?

-Ohh, sure boy, of course you'll leave. But not without first facing the ire of the public- **Sounds a music of terror**

**-**Ohh, the ire of the public! Oh noo!... c'mon, how terrible could it be?

-Really terrible boy, really terrible… but's okay, verify it yourself. Let's see… hey you, girl! – **she points a girl from the public**- Ask something to _Ruperto Marco_- **says with Spanish accent**

-ANTHONY MASSEN!

-What ever…

**The girl, wears a T-Shirt which says "Go Twilight" in 'bloody letters'. In the back of her t-shirt and her bracelets says "Team Edward"**

**Filled with emotion, without fitting in herself, hyperventilating and waved, she asks**:

-Edward, when you say that you Hill do anything… you mean that you'll hang out with me, will do my manicure, wash my hair, do my chores and other things…?- **she said with ilussion**

-Ehh…

-Catch him! - **shouted the girl, and herd of 75 girls launched themselves over the Cullen boy and took him away from the stage**

-Noo!! Help meee!! Securityyy! –**He shouted, but his attempts were uselessly**

- That's it girls. Don't have pity of him! Hahaha, I new he would repent from underestimating the ire of the public… ahh- **she sighs**- anyway… as I've been saying you… you must care about your family… But now, I'm going to care about those doughnouts that are just for the employees- **She gets out from the stage running**

-_Hey Katy! __You've forgot to say that we're going to commercials! – _**Said a camera man.**

-Ohh, yeah! And that too! – **Shouted Katy, who was in the backstage eating without compassion the shipment of doughnouts that dunki'n doughtnouts sends weekly **


End file.
